


First Impressions

by luxbuhree



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Oh! Development!, Ryan Is A Sensitive Bean, Shane is an Asshole, Shane's Fucking Denim Jacket, They Become A Bit NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 09:23:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxbuhree/pseuds/luxbuhree
Summary: The chance to work with and sit next to THE Shane Madej was one of the things Ryan was looking forward to, now that he's starting his first day in BuzzFeed. But while he was expecting a charming and friendly guy, he was instead met with someone who couldn't care any less.Will the case of why Shane hates Ryan remain unsolved?





	First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at making summaries... so yeah, if you choose to click this story, I promise that it'll be better than that shitty summary :') Enjoy!

Ryan inhaled the air as he walked into the Buzzfeed office. He smelled the faint aroma of brewing coffee, the fragrance of various colognes and perfumes, and the distinct scent of leather chairs. He couldn’t help but grin widely with excitement. It was his first day on the job — the first step to reaching his dreams of becoming a video producer. Nothing could dampen his mood.

 

The previous day, the HR manager had given him a tour of the office. He was shown the facilities, departments, and his workspace. At the time of the tour, there weren’t a lot of people, unlike right now, with the office bustling with activity. Ryan retraced the path to his workspace, sighing in relief as he found it without getting lost. And there, seated in front of their shared desk was Shane Madej. He flashbacked to his conversation with the manager.

 

_“Who’s seated next to me?” Ryan asked, noticing that the long desk was occupied by two computers, a few feet apart, with matching chairs for each._

_“Oh, you’ll be next to Shane Madej. You might have watched videos of him on—”_

_“Debatable!” Ryan filled in, his voice alight with admiration. “He’s the host! I can’t believe he’s going to be sharing a desk with me!”_

_“So you’re a fan, huh?” the manager chuckled._

_“A bit,” Ryan answered shyly, embarrassed at having fangirled like that._

_“Well, he’s really nice and friendly. I’m sure you’ll be fast friends.”_

As Ryan drew closer, he had to remind himself to stay calm. He wasn’t going to be the crazy fanboy who freaked someone out. He had to be professional. A bright smile and warm handshake would be enough.

 

Shane was typing something on his phone. When Ryan took a seat next to him, making a bit more noise than necessary, he looked up.

 

“Hi! I’m Ryan,” Ryan introduced immediately, putting on an award-winning smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

Ryan stuck out his hand, awaiting Shane’s response. He had butterflies in his stomach, realizing how much more attractive and imposing Shane was in person.

 

Shane glanced down at his outstretched hand, which was trembling a bit from being held up for so long, before flicking his gaze back up at his face. Ryan’s smile faltered as the seconds ticked away. Before Ryan could speak again, Shane turned away, focusing his attention back on his phone. Ryan finally let his hand and smile drop. He could feel his face heat up with humiliation.

 

Where was the charming and cheerful Shane Madej that he saw in videos? Who was this cold and unfeeling person next to him? With no answers to his questions, Ryan dejectedly faced his computer.

 

“Ryan?” he heard from beside him.

 

Ryan turned back to Shane, his lips turning up into a hopeful smile.

 

“Keep your things off my side of the desk,” Shane said in a monotone voice, not even bothering to look at him.

 

The smile on Ryan’s face shriveled up and died.

 

***********

 

Ryan’s first week passed by quickly. He was doing his job well, the bulk of which was helping edit videos. He had made a lot of new friends, his closest friend so far being Steven. And he even had his first invite to a bar that night. He was almost happy — if only he could get Shane to stop hating him. Hate was a strong word, he knew, but there was no other way to describe it. Shane barely acknowledged his presence, much less talked to him. The only time Shane gave him any notice was when he made an annoyed grunt whenever Ryan was talking too loudly, or when Ryan’s things _slightly_ trespassed onto his side of the desk.

 

“Steven, what am I supposed to do?” Ryan implored, almost in tears after Shane had once again made that annoyed grunt at him, even when he wasn’t doing anything. “Why does he hate me so much?”

 

“I don’t get it,” Steven answered, his index finger pressed thoughtfully against his bottom lip. “Shane gets along with everyone. I’ve never heard anyone having any problems with him. Did you piss him off or something?”

 

“No,” Ryan cried out. “He was like that ever since I met him.”

 

“Maybe you just rubbed him the wrong way. Why don’t you try doing something nice for him? Like a peace offering.”

 

“Do you think that’ll work?”

 

“It might.”

 

“It’s almost lunchtime. Maybe I can buy him lunch,” Ryan thought out loud. “Do you know what he likes?”

 

“He has an affinity for hotdogs,” Steve offered helpfully. “Good luck, Bergara.”

 

“Thanks!” Ryan called out, rushing out from the bathroom.

 

By the time Ryan got back, most of the employees were taking their lunchbreak. He hurriedly made his way to his desk and sighed in relief when Shane was still there.

 

“Hi, Shane,” he greeted, his voice a bit shaky with nervousness. “I was walking outside, and I thought you might like a hotdog.”

 

Shane was looking at him with his usual indifferent expression. Ryan brought out one of the styrofoam boxes from a paper bag, and placed it gingerly on the desk. He bit his lip as he watched Shane open it. Inside was a cheesy hotdog on a bun with caramelized onions and bacon bits, and a side of waffle fries beside it. Shane stared at it, his face unreadable.

 

“I don’t eat hotdogs,” Shane said.

 

“But Steven said…”

 

“And I’d appreciate it if you stopped gossiping about me to other people.”

 

With that, Shane closed the box, shoved it back to Ryan, stood up, and walked away. Ryan was in shock. He only snapped out of it when Steven bounded toward him.

 

“How’d it go? I passed Shane in the hallway, and he looked happy. He even stayed to joke around a bit. Are you friends now?”

 

“He said he didn’t eat hotdogs,” Ryan whispered. “He didn’t accept it.”

 

“Huh? He loves hotdogs!”

 

“I give up, Steven,” Ryan said, slumping down in his seat. “I’m tired of this.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Steven rubbed comforting circles on his back. “We’ll drink to your sorrows tonight. You’re still in for that, right?”

 

“Yeah. Getting wasted sounds good.”

 

“That’s the spirit! Come on, let’s eat these hotdogs before they get cold.”

 

 ***********  

 

The evening breeze blew over Ryan’s exposed skin. It was a relatively cold night, and Ryan was only wearing a thin shirt. He regretted not bringing his hoodie with him. He glanced enviously at the sweaters or long-sleeved shirts the others were wearing.

 

No matter. He just had to suck it up until they reached the club. There were only a few blocks left. He was with Steven and a few others. The group was chatting animatedly as they walked, their raucous laughter blending in with the Los Angeles nightlife.

 

“Who else are going?” Jen asked.

 

“Eugene, Ned, Keith, Zach…” Daysha stopped to think. “Oh, and Shane!”

 

Ryan felt the air expel from his lungs. “Shane?”

 

“Yeah. He said he wanted to tag along.”

 

“Maybe I shouldn’t go,” Ryan said weakly. It didn’t help that his arms were covered in goosebumps, and his nose was numb from the cold.

 

“Why? Don’t you like Shane?” Adam asked.

 

“More like he doesn’t like me.”

 

“But Shane likes everyone!”

 

“Except me.” Ryan shook his head. “Look, I don’t want to ruin anyone’s night. I’ll just go.”

 

The group immediately bubbled with protest.

 

“Ryan, he’s not going to kill you. Anyways, you won’t be alone with him. You’ll be surrounded by people,” Andrew assured.

 

“Come on, Bergara. It’s your first night out. You need this,” Steven added.

 

Finally, they were able to convince Ryan to stay for at least an hour. By the time they reached the club, Ryan was relaxed again. But of course, that all went out the window when he spotted Shane chatting happily with Zach. He wondered why Shane never looked that happy when he was around. True to that, when Shane spotted him, his smile dropped. Ryan wanted to fall through the ground.

 

“I’ll order us some beers,” Ryan volunteered, eager to get away from the table. He swerved his way past other patrons until he arrived at the bar. He placed the order, sniffling the whole time — his nose had gotten stuffy from the cold.

 

Once he got the beer bottles, he refused a waiter’s help and insisted on carrying it back by himself. He wasn’t trying to be stubborn — he just didn’t want to bother the waiter, who was already being summoned by a gaggle of ladies on the other side of the room. He was able to get back to the table without incident. Ryan slid the bottles to his earlier companions, trying hard not to look at Shane, afraid that he might be met with a scathing look. He took the only available space at the edge of the U-shaped booth, which unfortunately for him, was right across from Shane.

 

As the group hooted with laughter at something Eugene said, Ryan took the chance to glance at him. He saw Shane, his trademark sad eyes crinkling up as he let out a huge laugh. He looked so good with the top of his checkered flannel unbuttoned under his denim jacket, and the neon club lights hitting his face just right. This was the Shane that Ryan had been excited to meet — the Shane who was brimming with life and joy — not the constantly irritated Shane who sat beside him at work.

 

“So, Ryan, why’d you apply in BuzzFeed?” Zach asked.

 

Everyone turned to him, even Shane, although his smile had long since vanished.

 

“Honestly? I want to be a video producer, but I figured I had to start small — get a hang of the ropes behind video production,” he answered, feeling more conscious than ever.

 

“Are you liking working at BuzzFeed so far?”

 

“Of course! I’m learning more and more every day. Plus, I got to meet you guys,” Ryan said shyly. He really did mean it. Shane excluded, everyone else was simply pleasant.

 

There was a round of _“awww”_ from the group, except Shane who had hastily gotten up to use the bathroom.

 

“What’s his problem?” Ned asked. “Think he’s got diarrhea?”

 

Ryan sighed. “It’s probably because of me.”

 

“Why?”

 

Ryan hesitated, remembering how Shane had told him to stop gossiping about him with other people. However, the peer pressure made him cave. He went through the story again, finishing exactly as Shane reappeared. To their everlasting credit, everyone pretended as if nothing had happened. There were no awkward silences or teasing looks.

 

Another round of beers were ordered. Ryan was beginning to enjoy himself, now that the first beer had dulled his apprehensions. He was interrupted mid-way in a funny anecdote he was telling by his phone ringing. Ryan excused himself and hurried outside to answer it.

 

It was just his brother, asking if he could borrow a pair of his basketball shoes the next weekend. The cold nipped at his skin while he listed off terms and conditions. By the time he hung up, his nose had gotten stuffy again. He didn’t even realize that someone had joined him outside.

 

“Why didn’t you bring a jacket?” Shane asked lazily.

 

“I forgot,” Ryan managed to answer. It was the first time Shane was addressing him without a hint of hostility or irritation.

 

“Your nose is red,” he observed.

 

“Are you drunk?”

 

“A little tipsy, but not drunk. I’ve only had 3 bottles,” Shane answered. “Are you cold?”

 

“No,” Ryan lied.

 

“Here, take my jacket.”

 

Shane shrugged off his denim jacket and handed it to him. Ryan refused to take it.

 

“No, I don’t need it,” he persisted.

 

“Just take it,” Shane said angrily. “Take it or I’ll put it on you my damn self.”

 

Ryan took it. He put it on, glaring at Shane the whole time. The jacket fell to his thighs, and the sleeves were too long for him. Not surprising, considering their height difference. He had to admit, though, the jacket felt nice around him.

 

“Thank you,” he spat out begrudgingly.

 

“Bring it back tomorrow.” Shane began to walk, but instead of going back in the bar, he was walking away from it.

 

“Where are you going?” Ryan asked.

 

“Home,” Shane called from behind his shoulder.

 

“Wait! It’s not safe.” He couldn’t stop himself from worrying.

 

“Go back in, Ryan. I’ll be fine.”

 

Ryan watched as Shane’s figure grew smaller and smaller, until he rounded the corner and vanished from his sight. He wanted to follow him, but he knew it wasn’t a good idea. Instead, he turned his attention back to the denim jacket on his body. It was the first act of kindness Shane had shown him. And _alright_ , Shane was pushy about it, but it was still a change. Ryan wondered if it was because Shane had been drinking. He deflated as he realized that it probably was — it meant Shane could only tolerate him when he wasn’t clear-minded.

 

His shoulders slumped, he made his way back inside. Their table, which was loud as he entered, fell silent once he reached them. Ryan noticed they were all staring at him with shock.

 

“What’s wrong?” Ryan brought a hand to his nose, wondering if it was running.

 

“That’s Shane’s denim jacket,” Jen said. She looked spellbound.

 

Ryan shrugged. “Yeah, he saw me outside before he left.”

 

“That’s his jacket,” Steven repeated, looking just as amazed. “He let you borrow it.”

 

“If you call _threatening_ _me_ as _borrowing_ , then sure. He let me _borrow_ it. I didn’t even want it.”

 

“You don’t understand,” Ned intoned. “It’s Shane’s denim jacket.”

 

Ryan tapped his foot impatiently. “Yeah, I get it. It’s Shane’s jacket. What of it?”

 

“It’s his favorite jacket. He never lets _anyone_ borrow it. He doesn’t even let us touch it!” Keith exclaimed.

 

“One time, I was freezing during a shoot, and I asked if I could borrow his jacket. Shane wasn’t even wearing it! He just had it slung on his shoulder. And get this, he wouldn’t let me!” Eugene complained.

 

“He was pretty tipsy,” Ryan said, although Shane had looked fine. “Maybe he just forgot?”

 

“Forgot that he loves that jacket? Not a chance,” Eugene quipped again.

 

“Are you sure he hates you? Because from what I can tell, you’re the only one he’s lent that jacket to,” Daysha relayed.

 

“Maybe he just felt guilty about being so mean to me.”

 

“Maybe…”

 

The topic was dropped. After another half-hour, Ryan announced he was retiring for the night. He booked an Uber home. That night, instead of falling asleep instantly, he lay awake, his mind muddled and confused. Eventually, he dozed off, Shane’s denim jacket clutched in his hands.

 

 ***********  

 

The next day, Ryan woke with a start — he had been dreaming about Shane. His eyes went to the jacket in his hands. Though he knew it was creepy, he lifted the jacket up to his nose, wondering how it smelled. His plan failed once he realized he had a stuffed nose, the remnant of last night’s chill.

 

When he arrived at the office, he wondered whether Shane would be nicer to him, now that he had lent Ryan his jacket. He got his answer as Shane wordlessly took it back from him, quickly returning to his work. Ryan let out a quiet sigh. He had gotten his hopes up.

 

“Is he still ignoring you?” Steven asked as they took their lunch later on.

 

“Yeah.” Ryan frowned. “I really thought this day would be different.”

 

“I still don’t understand.”

 

“Neither do I,” Ryan told him, as he pushed away his burrito. “Ugh, I can’t taste it.”

 

“Your nose still stuffed?” Steven was eyeing the rest of his burrito with interest.

 

“You can have it. But it’s got my germs.”

 

“Don’t care!” Steven said, chewing happily on Ryan’s leftovers.

 

The rest of the day passed normally. Ryan was given a video to edit, which had preoccupied him for most of the hours. By the time he finished, he realized that it was past the end of working hours. Aside from himself, there were only a few late-night stragglers left. Most had gone home already.

 

It was also then, once he removed his noise-cancelling headphones, that he heard the soft pitter-patter of rain. He looked out the window in surprise. It rarely rained during this season. He groaned as he realized he had to book an Uber home. He usually just walked — it saved money and it was a form of exercise. He waited for 20 minutes, yet he couldn’t get a car. There was apparently a surge in demand, making it harder to book one. Giving up completely, he decided to hail a cab outside. He once again cursed at not having brought a hoodie.

 

He packed up, thanking the heavens that his backpack was waterproof, and exited the building. Just as he was about to walk out into the rain, a car abruptly pulled up in front of him, nearly running over his foot.

 

“What the hell?” he raged, banging his fist against the tinted window. The window rolled down, revealing Shane. Ryan was confused, distinctly remembering that Shane had gone home an hour before.

 

“Get in,” Shane said, moving to unlock the door.

 

“No,” Ryan declined stubbornly.

 

“Ryan, don’t make me force you.”

 

“That won’t work on me again! I’m not getting in.”

 

“For fuck’s sake, you’re going to get sick! You already have a runny nose!”

 

“How would you know? You barely look at me,” Ryan muttered bitterly.

 

“Because I could hear you sniffling every 10 seconds, you idiot. Get in the damn car,” Shane snarled, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

 

“Or what? You’ll ignore me? Too bad, I’m already used to it,” Ryan spat at him.

 

Before Ryan could process what was happening, Shane had exited the car, opened the car door, and forced Ryan into the passenger’s seat, buckling his seatbelt so he couldn’t escape. He quickly got back in, and drove out of the parking lot. They were both wet from the struggle.

 

“Where do you live?” Shane fired at him, wiping rain drops from his face.

 

“In your mama’s butt,” Ryan sneered childishly. He was shivering.

 

Shane reached into the backseat. “Put this on.”

 

He draped his denim jacket over Ryan’s head. Ryan pulled it off with a glare.

 

“Jerk,” he muttered. “I don’t want it.”

 

“Put the damn thing on, or I’m crashing this car!” Shane yelled at him.

 

Fear overtook Ryan. He wasn’t sure whether Shane was serious, but he wasn’t going to test it. He took off his seatbelt, put the jacket on, and buckled in again.

 

“That was easy, wasn’t it? You don’t have to be so goddamn stubborn,” Shane retorted. “Can you tell me where you live?”

 

Ryan rattled off his address, not even bothering to fight back. He was in the presence of a madman.

 

When they arrived in front of his building, Ryan didn’t protest when Shane said he’d walk him to his unit. He parallel parked in an empty space between two cars, brought out an automatic umbrella, and covered Ryan under it as they walked to the entrance.

 

They were silent as they rode the elevator up. When they reached the unit, Ryan’s natural instinct to be a good person overruled his anger.

 

“Would you like to dry off before you go? Maybe some coffee?” he offered, as he unlocked the door.

 

He fully expected Shane to decline, which was part of the reason why he was willing to offer.

 

“Sounds good,” Shane said, following him into the room.

 

Ryan, though taken by surprise, led him to the couch and gave him control of the TV. He went into the kitchen and brewed a pot of coffee. His eyes went to the window — the rain was getting stronger. Once the coffee was done, he poured out two mugs and brought them to the living room. He handed one to Shane.

 

“Are you staying for dinner?” he asked.

 

“No, thank you. I’d best be going after this,” Shane said, motioning to his mug.

 

Ryan glanced outside again.

 

“Actually, why don’t you stay the night?”

 

“What?”

 

“The rain’s pretty strong. It’s not safe to drive in this weather.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” Shane waved away.

 

“But I won’t. What if your car slips off the road? I don’t need that guilt hanging over me for the rest of my life.”

 

Shane took another sip. “Alright. Thank you.”

 

They had an uneventful dinner, which mainly consisted of pizza and beer. After, they went about with their nightly preparations for sleep. Shane insisted that he could sleep in his clothes, saying that they were already dry. But he did accept the spare toothbrush Ryan gave him. While Shane brushed his teeth, Ryan changed out of his clothes, leaving Shane’s jacket to dry on a chair, and made himself comfortable on the couch.

 

“Ryan, what are you doing?” Shane asked, once he saw Ryan.

 

“Trying to get some sleep,” he responded. “I fixed the bed for you. My room’s over there.”

 

“I am not taking your bed,” Shane deadpanned.

 

“You’re not _taking_ it. I’m _giving_ it to you. You won’t fit on this couch.”

 

“You don’t fit too.” Shane gestured to Ryan’s feet, which were hanging off the armrest.

 

“If I don’t fit, the more that you won’t. Have you seen yourself?”

 

“Then we’ll both sleep on the bed. Come on,” Shane whined.

 

Ryan sat up. “What? No!”

 

“Why not? I’m sure it’ll fit both of us. What have you got there? A queen size?”

 

“King,” Ryan corrected.

 

“See? Come on. Don’t make me drag you there.”

 

“I’d appreciate it if you stopped threatening me,” Ryan scowled.

 

“I’d appreciate it if you stopped being stubborn,” Shane hissed.

 

“Look who’s talking! Just take the damn bed!”

 

“No!”

 

“Then you can sleep on the floor!”

 

Shane brightened up. “Good idea. I’ll sleep here, unless you come with me to bed.” He patted the ground beneath him, then sank down on it.

 

Ryan flushed at how domestic that sounded. “Get the hell up, Madej.”

 

“Not without you.”

 

Ryan lay back down, trying to ignore the stabs of guilt. He swore that he wouldn’t give in to Shane’s sick games.

 

He lasted 2 minutes.

 

“Fine!” Ryan stood up. “Let’s go!”

 

Shane obliged. Together, they pattered into Ryan’s room, where the king size bed was beckoning to them. Ryan took up the right side, inching as close as he could to the edge. The lights flicked off, and they were bathed in darkness. He felt the mattress dip as Shane lay down. There was a huge gap between them.

 

“Ryan, you’re going to fall off,” Shane remarked from beside him.

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

“Why are you always trying to contradict me?”

 

“Why are you always trying to tell me what to do?”

 

“I don’t do that,” Shane mumbled.

 

Ryan sat up angrily. “Oh, yeah. I forgot. You never talk to me.”

 

Shane sat up too. “What are you talking about?”

 

Even in the dark, he could see Shane’s features distort into a scowl.

 

“I’m talking about how you’ve been treating me like a pesky fly that you can’t wait to get rid of! I mean, until yesterday, you were barely acknowledging that I exist! And when you did acknowledge me, it’s to make that annoyed grunt you do!”

 

Shane made the exact same sound. “It’s because you’re annoying.”

 

“Then why the hell do you keep worming your way in my life? You stepped in last night with the jacket, and you stepped in awhile ago with your stupid car. I would have been fine! What is it, really? Do you like me? Do you hate me? _Why can’t you stick to one?_ ”

 

Shane leaned in dangerously close. Ryan could smell the mint in his breath. “Maybe because I’m trying to stop myself.”

 

Ryan’s breath hitched in his throat. “Stop yourself from what?”

 

“It doesn’t matter.” Shane pulled back.

 

“You’re such a jerk,” Ryan said, his eyes filling with angry tears. “And to think I was so excited to meet you.”

 

“Ryan—”

 

“I’m going back to the couch,” Ryan stated with finality. He fumbled his way to the bedroom door and left, leaving Shane to sit there in the dark.

 

***********

 

The morning was tense and awkward. Neither of them mentioned the previous night. Instead, they were being frighteningly polite to each other.

 

“Would you like another waffle?” Ryan asked tersely.

 

“Yes, please. Thank you,” Shane replied stiffly.

 

After breakfast, Ryan dug through his closet until he found a shirt that might fit Shane.

 

“I think this’ll fit you,” Ryan said, holding up the baseball tee for Shane. “Oh, wait. Nevermind. It has _Bergara_ written on the back.”

 

“It’s alright. I don’t mind.” Shane snatched it from him and entered the bathroom.

 

Ryan blushed at the idea of Shane wearing his last name on his back. He shook it off, reminding himself that he was still mad at him.

 

Shane came out of the bathroom wearing the tee. It was a bit snug across his chest, but it looked good. Ryan had to stop himself from ogling him. He busied himself with retrieving Shane’s denim jacket.

 

“I’ll leave first,” Ryan announced. “See you at the office.”

 

“Wait, what do you mean you’re leaving first?”

 

“I mean that I’m leaving,” he repeated slowly.

 

“Why don’t you just catch a ride with me?”

 

“Oh, so you’re Tolerable Shane today?”

 

Shane looked confused. “Tolerable?”

 

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re either Tolerable Shane or Insufferable Shane. Tolerable is when you’re concerned and sweet. Insufferable is when you’re cold and mean.”

 

“Whatever. Just catch a ride with me. And put on that jacket,” he added as an afterthought.

 

Ryan was about to argue, but Shane stopped him.

 

“Just put on the jacket, Ryan. Can we stop fighting about this?” Shane sighed.

 

Ryan put it on. He hated himself for loving the feel of it.

 

When they arrived outside the office, Ryan said, “I should go in first.”

 

“Stop.” Shane rolled his eyes. “Let’s just go in together.”

 

They did, and to Ryan’s horror, people were staring at them as they entered. He could hear whispers behind them as they passed.

 

“Why are they looking at us like that?” Ryan whispered to Shane.

 

“It’s because they think we fucked,” Shane said bluntly.

 

“What? Why’d they think that?”

 

“Because you’re wearing my denim jacket. And because I’m wearing a shirt that has _Bergara_ printed on the back. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.”

 

“But there’s nothing to put together! We’re not fucking!” Ryan said, a little louder than he was supposed to. Everyone was now _certainly_ staring at them.

 

With a squeak, Ryan ran to his desk, eager to get away from the judging eyes. Shane followed after him, chuckling deeply.

 

“Why are you so nonchalant about this?” Ryan hissed at him.

 

“Because seeing you squirm is cute,” Shane answered with a smirk.

 

“D—don’t call me cute.”

 

Shane rolled his chair closer to his. Ryan gulped at the proximity.

 

“Like you said, we’re not fucking,” Shane purred, his tongue darting out to wet his lips ever so slightly. “Who cares what they think?”

 

Ryan kicked Shane’s chair away from him. “I care. You better fix this. And I’m still mad at you. You’re a jerk.”

 

Shane got the glint in his eyes again, the one that came before he did something reckless. Before Ryan could stop him, Shane had stood up, raised his arms on his side, and yelled, “Attention everybody! Ryan Bergara and I are _not_ fucking. I repeat: _not_ fucking.”

 

Ryan buried his face in his arms as the office went silent.

 

“Kindly return to your work. Thank you!” Shane sat back down.

 

The room exploded with conversation, sounds which Ryan blocked his mind from hearing. His whole face was aflame. He grit his teeth in anger, his despise for Shane shooting up like a rocket.

 

“I fixed it, Ryan,” Shane told him. “You’re welcome.”

 

There was something about the smug tone in his voice that made Ryan snap. Ryan lifted his head from his arms, ripped the jacket off his body, balled it up as best as he could, and threw it directly into Shane’s face.

 

“Fuck off, asshole,” Ryan gibed. He felt hot tears again, a true testament of how angry he was.

 

Shane was staring at him with a new expression: one of shock. But it quickly morphed into a familiar one: the indifferent and unfeeling look he reserved for Ryan. His jaw clenched, Shane turned back to his computer.

 

Ryan saw Steven looking over at him with concern. Ryan shook his head at him, then dashed into the nearest bathroom. He crashed into the nearest cubicle, locked the stall, sat down on the toilet, and pressed his fingers to his eyes. He wanted to punch something — preferably Shane.

 

“Ryan?” Steven’s voice called out.

 

“In here,” he muttered, unlocking the stall and swinging it open.

 

“What the hell happened?”

 

Ryan explained everything, from how Shane forced him into his car, to their conversation in bed, until their fight a few minutes ago. He felt slightly better as he let everything out. When he looked to see how Steven was taking it, he was surprised to see a smile on his face.

 

“Why are you smiling?”

 

“I think I know what’s going on with Shane,” Steven said knowingly.

 

“What is it? Because, frankly, I have no idea.”

 

Steven pulled Ryan outside. “I think it’s better if you figured this one out for yourself.”

 

“What? Help me!” Ryan protested. He didn’t understand why Steven was suddenly being cryptic.

 

“No. You need to find out by yourself. Trust me.”

 

“Thanks for the help, _friend_ ,” Ryan clipped sarcastically.

 

“Come on. Back to your desk we go.”

 

Ryan stopped walking. “I’m not going back there. Help me find a vacant desk.”

 

Steven sighed. “Ryan, just—”

 

“I said I’m not going back. If I don’t get away from him, I’m gonna end up punching him.”

 

“Fine,” Steven reconsidered. “There's a bit of space beside me. You can do work on your laptop over there.”

 

Ryan hurried back to his desk and quickly packed his things. He pointedly ignored Shane, even when the latter made an annoyed sound at the back of his throat. Without so much as a glance, he moved away.

 

The workday was surprisingly chill, now that Ryan wasn’t in a constant state of rage and anxiety. He didn’t miss continually being on edge. He didn’t miss having to tiptoe around. And he didn’t miss Shane… _or so he convinced himself._

 

For the next few days, Ryan stayed in the spot next to Steven. It was a hassle, especially since he could only work from his laptop, but it beat sitting next to _him_. Ryan would only go back to his desk when he needed to transfer files or grab some supplies.

 

However, at night, when he was alone at home, he would pull up his laptop and watch videos of Debatable over and over again. He found himself laughing at Shane’s witty remarks, and smiling at his comical expressions. It made his heart ache, knowing that he had admired, even crushed on,  _this_ Shane so much, only to be met with the reality that the real Shane, or at least the one he had come to know, was a huge dick. It still continued to baffle him that Shane wasn’t like that with anybody else.

 

He tried following Steven’s advice to figure it out by himself. He pieced together the enigma that was Shane Madej: the scornful looks, the blatant indifference, the concern whether he was cold, the insistence to drive him home, and the mysterious one-liners. Ryan’s head hurt from thinking so much. He had no idea why Shane was being like that.

 

Did he find out that Ryan was a fan before coming to BuzzFeed? Is that why he was so horrible to him? But that theory didn’t make sense. Ryan’s seen tons of tweets from fans who met Shane and reported that he was down-to-earth and sociable. He remembered feeling envious that he was yet to meet him.

 

 _‘Joke’s on me,’_ Ryan thought resentfully. _‘The case of why Shane hates me will remain unsolved.’_

 

***********

 

“Hey, how was the meeting?” Steven asked him as he returned from the conference room.

 

Ryan sat down. “They want me to help write the script for a new series they’re trying.”

 

“Oh! _Ruining History_ , right? I heard about that. Congrats, man!” Steven punched him lightly in the shoulder.

 

“Yeah, but why me? I’ve only been here for two weeks. I don’t think I’ve proven myself that much,” Ryan said modestly.

 

“I’m sure Shane thinks you’re capable enough. He did put a lot of—” Steven cut off, a look of _‘I-shouldn’t-have-said-that’_ on his face.

 

“Did you say Shane?” Ryan narrowed his eyes at him.

 

“No?”

 

“Is _Ruining History_ his series?”

 

“Maybe?” Steven coughed awkwardly. “Ryan, listen…”

 

Ryan didn’t stay to hear the rest. He had spotted Shane going into the bathroom. He hurriedly followed after him, his anger bubbling inside of him. Ryan burst in to see Shane washing his hands.

 

“Hey there—”

 

“You need to stop it!” Ryan shouted at him.

 

Shane looked perplexed. “Stop what? Washing my hands?”

 

“I know you recommended me as a writer for your stupid series. Don’t bother denying it.”

 

“I wasn’t going to,” Shane replied as he dried his hands on a paper towel. “But I expected a different reaction from you. I thought you’d appreciate being part of my production team.”

 

“I don’t need any favors from you,” Ryan snarled. “I don’t need your help. So fucking stay out of my life.”

 

“Why are you so adamant about refusing my help?”

 

“Why are you such a huge asshole? Why have you been antagonizing me since I got here?”

 

“Wanna know why?” Shane growled. He loomed over Ryan, backing him into the wall.

 

Ryan was terrified. He felt the cold wall press against his back. Shane was towering over him, his eyes glinting with malice… _and something else._

 

“No,” Ryan said, refusing to be threatened into submission.

 

Shane pinned his hands to the wall. Ryan struggled, but Shane’s nails dug into the soft skin on the underside of his forearms.

 

“Let go of me! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Ryan fumed.

 

Shane leaned in, burying his face in the crook of Ryan’s neck. A whimper escaped him as Shane’s beard scratched at the smoothness of his skin.

 

“Get off of me,” he repeated, hating himself for how half-hearted he sounded.

 

Ryan gasped when Shane pressed his lips against a sensitive spot under his jaw. He felt his resistance crumbling away.

 

“Shane…”

 

“I love the way you say my name,” Shane hummed, his eyes meeting Ryan’s. His dark eyes were dilated with desire.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Ryan whispered.

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Shane said impatiently. “I don’t think I’ve been subtle about it.”

 

“Obvious that you hate me?” Ryan’s resolve came back. He fought against the hands pinning him to the wall.

 

“ _Au contraire._ You know, I’m getting real tired of waiting for you to catch on.”

 

“Fuck off with your fucking mind games! You’re crazy! You’re psychotic! You’re—”

 

 _‘’_ — _kissing me,’_ he finished in his mind as Shane’s lips crashed against his.

 

Ryan first noticed how gentle Shane’s lips were, a juxtaposition to his rough demeanor. His brain was screaming for him to push Shane away, but his body refused to respond. Shane nibbled at his bottom lip, tugging it gently. Ryan gave another gasp, allowing Shane to slip his tongue in his mouth. The taste of coffee and sugar settled on their tongues.

 

Ryan felt Shane’s grip on his arms slacken. In that moment, his mind won over his body, and he broke away from Shane’s hold.

 

“Stop,” he blurted out, pushing Shane away from him. “Stop.”

 

Shane was panting heavily, his lips red and glistening. The sight of how flustered he was made Ryan’s toes curl.

 

“What’s wrong?” Shane asked huskily.

 

“You’ve lost your mind. We can pretend this never happened,” Ryan said, taking baby steps toward the door. “I’m going to leave now.”

 

“I don’t want to pretend,” Shane said. “I don’t want you to leave.”

 

Ryan broke down.

 

He sunk to the floor as uncontrollable sobs racked through his body. Ugly and ragged noises escaped his mouth, echoing and bouncing off the walls of the bathroom. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly why he started crying. All Ryan knew was that the stress and drama of the past days had caught up with him, taking form in his tears.

 

Shane kneeled in front of him, his eyes filling with concern and remorse. He tried to wipe away the tears, but Ryan jerked his head away from his touch.

 

“Shit, Ryan. I didn’t mean to…”

 

“Y-you’re so c-confu-sing,” Ryan hiccupped.

 

“I know. I’m sorry.”

 

“I d-don’t unders-s-stand why you h-hate me so mu-ch.”

 

Shane pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t hate you. I never did.”

 

“Y-you treated m-me like you did. You ac-acted like everything I d-did annoyed you. But then y-you g-gave me your jacket. Then you d-drove me home in the r-rain. Then you k-kissed me,” Ryan continued, his hiccups getting worse. “W-why are you mes-sing with me?”

 

“I—” Shane sighed heavily. “I’m so sorry, Ryan. I know I was horrible to you. I know that it looks like I’m playing around. I know that nothing I say can excuse what a shitty person I was. Trust me, I know all of that. Damn, I let this get too far. But will you let me explain?”

 

Ryan nodded.

 

“I had a bad experience dating a co-worker. When we broke up, it affected our projects together. Our friends took sides. It was chaos. Hell, I almost got fired because of how much I was letting it get to my work. I swore to never date another co-worker again.”

 

“S-so?”

 

“So when you showed up, all happy and cute and excited, I knew I was going to have trouble keeping that promise. I tried to get you to hate me, so that you’d stay away by your own choice. But then that night at the bar, I couldn’t let you get sick from the cold, so I gave you my jacket. And when you stayed late, I knew it was going to rain, so I waited for you in the parking lot. I broke the rules I’d set for myself.”

 

Ryan’s hiccups had gone down. He was regaining his breathing, although his heart pounded painfully at the sudden revelations presented to him.

 

“I just wanted to be your friend,” Ryan finally said. “I just wanted to get to know the Shane that I’ve seen in the videos.”

 

“And would it have stopped there? At friendship? Because I know it wouldn’t. And by the way you kissed me, I’m sure you know it too.”

 

“Don’t. It was a mistake,” Ryan persisted.

 

“We both know it wasn’t.”

 

Ryan couldn’t deal with this anymore.

 

“Shane, leave me alone, please. I can’t deal with this right now,” he pleaded, closing his eyes.

 

“Ryan, can’t we try again? Let me show you who I really am.”

 

“Please. Just go.”

 

Ryan kept his eyes closed. Seconds passed, and he could still feel Shane’s presence in front of him. After a minute, he felt a gentle pressure on top of his forehead before hearing the sound of receding footsteps, then the door.

 

Ryan opened his eyes and grazed the tingling spot on his head — Shane had kissed him goodbye.

 

***********

 

A new week began, marking Ryan’s third week in BuzzFeed. Everything settled back into the rhythm that Ryan was used to, only now he was sitting next to Steven. And now, there were always little presents on his desk during the morning.

 

On Monday, Ryan arrived to a mug of hot coffee on the desk. A note read, _‘Hi. I’m Shane, a fellow employee. I really like you a **lat-te**. Keep smiling!’. _ Ryan pressed his lips together and scowled. Was Shane really going to do this?

 

On Tuesday, there was a glazed donut on a paper plate. Another note was attached. It said, _‘Hi. It’s Shane again! You’re so **a-dough-rable**. Have a good day!’._

 

On Wednesday, there was a styrofoam box with a hotdog in it. It was the same as what Ryan had bought Shane before. Written on the lid, in black Sharpie, was, _‘Hi. Shane here. May your day be as **bun-derful** as you. Take care!’_.

 

“He’s not giving up, is he?” Steven commented. Ryan had told him _everything_ , even about the kiss.

 

“I don’t think so,” Ryan drawled.

 

“Well, he’s got to run out of puns sometime.”

 

On Thursday, a tall cup was sitting on top of a brown coaster. Ryan took off the lid and whiffed at the contents. It was a mango smoothie. On the backside of the cup was, _‘Hi. It’s still Shane. You can make a **man-go** crazy. Enjoy!’._

“That’s _sooooooo_ sweet,” Quinta gushed. She had started coming around his desk to see what Shane would do next.

 

“It’s too cheesy,” Ryan replied, though he could feel his lips twitching.

 

And on Friday, it was a slice of cheese pizza — Ryan’s ultimate favorite flavor. A sticky note read, _“Hi. It’s Shane, if you haven’t already guessed that. You stole something from me… a **pizza** my heart. Cheerio!’_

Steven, Quinta, and Andrew were fangirling over the note.

 

“That is adorable,” Quinta said.

 

“I know right! Shane’s trying so hard,” Andrew responded.

 

“Shut up, you two,” Ryan accosted.

 

“Ryan, how could you be so heartless? The guy is head over heels for you!” Steven retorted.

 

“Have you guys forgotten how awful he was to me?”

 

Ryan couldn’t believe that they were skipping over that fact. No matter how sweet Shane was being now, Ryan still couldn’t forget how cruel he was before.

 

“Yeah, but he’s making up for it! And don’t you think it’s _so_ romantic that he knew he’d end up liking you from the moment you two met?”

 

Ryan remained silent.

 

 ***********  

 

Steven was pouting and clinging to his arm.

 

“ _Ryaaaaaaaaaaan,_ please!” he begged.

 

“No.”

 

“But I wanna watch it so bad! Plus, I already bought two tickets!”

 

Ryan sighed. Steven had been bugging him for 20 minutes now, trying to get Ryan to watch _‘The Incredibles 2’_ with him. If it were any other day, he would be game to go. However, Ryan hadn’t brought a jacket with him, and there wasn’t time for him to go home and get one. Steven had bought tickets that were cutting it close to the end of their office hours. He wasn’t even sure they had time to make it to the theaters before the movie began.

 

“I told you, I’m not going to suffer through a 2-hour movie without a jacket. You know how easily I get cold. Unless, of course, you’re willing to give me yours,” Ryan said.

 

“But then I’d be cold!”

 

“Then you can find someone else to go with you.”

 

“No one else wants to see an animated movie with me! Please, Ryan! I’m begging you!”

 

Ryan stared down at the face of his friend. Steven looked close to tears. He was annoyed at the pang of sympathy he felt. He knew he was going to cave in.

 

“Fine! But if I freeze to death, that’s on you.”

 

Steven yelped happily and let go of Ryan’s arm. Ryan rolled his eyes.

 

Hours later, it was time for them to go. Ryan excused himself to the bathroom, wanting to relieve himself before facing the merciless cold of the movie theater. When he got back, there was a familiar denim jacket on his table.

 

Ryan looked around, trying to locate Shane, but he wasn’t there.

 

“Let’s go!” Steven yelled at him.

 

“Coming!” Ryan yelled back.

 

He took one last look at the jacket. Before he could change his mind, he swiped it off his desk and put it on.

 

That night, as he was cocooned in his bed, Ryan thought of Shane. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t affected by Shane’s antics. He could already feel his heart warming back up to the guy. Shane had acted shitty to him before, but Ryan considered his intentions behind them. Shane had purposely done the things he did because he liked Ryan, as crazy as that sounded. And Ryan had to admit that he was starting to like Shane again too. Maybe it was time to give him another chance.

 

The following day, Ryan came to work early and moved his things back to his original desk. Just as he planned, Shane wasn’t there yet. He took the opportunity to hang the denim jacket over the back of Shane’s seat. Having done that, he went to the break room and camped out there.

 

As more people trailed into the building, Ryan figured Shane had probably arrived already. He was right. Shane was at his desk, typing away on his phone. A feeling of _déjà vu_ overcame Ryan — this was the same scene that had greeted him on his first day. He took it as a sign to go ahead with his plan.

 

Ryan walked to their shared desk, exerting effort to control his breathing. He sat down on his chair, making sure to make as much noise as possible. Shane looked up at him in surprise.

 

“Hi! I’m Ryan Bergara,” Ryan said, plastering a wide smile on his face. “It’s great to meet you.”

 

He held out his hand.

 

Shane caught on quickly. He put on a bright smile, and warmly shook Ryan’s hand.

 

“I’m Shane. It’s great to meet you too,” he said.

 

Ryan felt a lump in his throat. This was the Shane Madej of his dreams — the one who had such a pleasant and addicting aura, that you couldn’t help but gravitate toward him. He knew that if he kept it up, they could start again. He could get to know this Shane instead.

 

But somehow, it felt wrong.

 

“I can’t,” Ryan sighed, letting his hand fall to his side.

 

Shane’s face fell. “I really messed it up, huh? I guess I did get you to hate me in the end.”

 

“I don’t hate you.”

 

“Maybe, but you can’t stand to be near me.” Shane smiled at him sadly. “It’s okay, Ryan. It’s my fault. I’m a sucker for self-sabotage.”

 

“It’s not that. I— I have no clue how to do this,” Ryan confessed as he twiddled with his thumbs. He really did want to get to know Shane. He just didn’t know how.

 

“I mean, how can we start again when there’s,” Ryan gestured to the space between them, “ _something_.”

 

“Something?” Shane echoed.

 

Ryan blushed. “We kissed, and as much as I want to deny it, there was _something_ there.”

 

“And what do you think that _something_ is?” Shane asked, his voice dropping an octave lower.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Ryan turned away. He had gotten the sudden urge to jump Shane’s bones and furiously make out with him. He clenched his fists, mentally scolding himself for even imagining doing _that_. Maybe sitting this close to Shane was dangerous. He should probably move back next to Steven, at least until he got his emotions under control.

 

Ryan moved to get his laptop. Shane noticed and stopped him.

 

“What are you doing?” Ryan tried to shake off Shane’s fingers, which were enclosed around his hand.

 

“Don’t leave,” Shane said quietly. “Stay with me.”

 

Shane lifted Ryan’s hand and brushed the back of it gently against his lips. Ryan felt the kiss radiate down to his toes. He bit down on his tongue — he was now truly in danger of doing things to Shane that weren’t meant to be done in public.

 

“Alright,” he breathed out.

 

Shane smiled at him. Ryan averted his gaze and turned back to his desk. His fingers were trembling as he turned on the computer.

 

 _‘I wonder how his mouth would feel on my— NO! STOP! STOP! RYAN, DO NOT GO THERE! — but remember how he kissed you in the bathroom— GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!’_ Ryan raged with himself.

 

He groaned. It was like the head on his shoulders was waging a war against the head in his pants.

 

“You okay?” Shane checked on him.

 

Ryan nodded. He just had to get through this day.

 

 ***********  

 

By evening, Ryan was more than ready to get out of there. He had been fidgeting uncomfortably the whole day. He gathered his things quietly, hoping to escape unnoticed. But of course, Shane did.

 

“You heading out?” Shane asked. “I can give you a ride home.”

 

 _‘You can give me a ride anytime,’_ Ryan contemplated, before remembering that he shouldn’t be having these thoughts at all.

 

“Thank you,” he accepted politely, his mouth as dry as dust. He was past refusing Shane’s help; it would just end with them arguing and possibly ruining the thin thread of friendship — if you could call it that — they had.

 

Shane shouldered his bag then led them out to his car, a firm hand pressed against the small of Ryan’s back. He could feel the warmth of Shane’s hand through his shirt. He was amazed he was able to walk at all, having caught a bad case of jelly legs.

 

Once they were both in the car, Shane gave him another heart-stopping smile, then pulled out of the driveway. Ryan turned on the radio to dispel the awkward silence, and also to mask the sound of his heart, which he was sure anyone could hear thumping loudly in his chest.

 

“Did you get all your work done?” Shane inquired, when they stopped at a red light.

 

“Yeah. How about you?” Ryan returned in a strained voice.

 

Shane shook his head. “I still need to finish a script for _Ruining History_.”

 

Ryan wanted to throw up from guilt. He had rejected the spot on Shane’s production team, which he figured is why Shane was having to do a lot more extra work.

 

“I can help you,” Ryan said, trying to make amends. “If you still want me on your team.”

 

“Really? Of course I still want you!” Shane bubbled. “Welcome back to the Madej team!”

 

The light turned to green. Shane accelerated.

 

As Ryan turned to look out his side of the window, he saw a van speeding right at them.

 

“ _SHANE!”_

He closed his eyes tightly, waiting for the impact. Something solid knocked against him.

 

 ***********  

 

Ryan felt incredibly warm all over. Something soft was tickling his face.

 

 _‘Is this what it feels like to be dead?’_ he wondered. _‘It isn’t so bad.’_

 

Ryan opened his eyes to brown hair all over his vision. He realized it was Shane’s hair, settling near his face. Perplexed, he noticed that Shane’s upper body was wrapped against him. Shane’s head was tucked in his right shoulder; one of his arms was clinging to Ryan’s waist, while the other was behind Ryan’s head; and Shane’s torso was pressed against his chest. He could feel Shane’s hot breath against his neck.

 

“Shane?”

 

Shane stirred. Slowly, he extricated his limbs from Ryan’s. There was an expression of shock and confusion on his face.

 

“Are you alright?” Shane whispered to him.

 

Ryan nodded. “What happened?”

 

The answer presented itself. There was a series of sharp rapping on the window on Shane’s side. They looked out to see a shell-shocked woman knocking frantically. Shane opened the door and stepped out.

 

“Stay here,” he told Ryan, as he went to deal with the woman.

 

Ryan surveyed the view outside his window. It was all grey. The van was all he could see. He could tell that it was literally inches from the side of the car. The driver must have been able to brake before they could collide.

 

Ryan felt a lump in his throat. A van that size would have easily crushed their small car. He could have died.

 

But Ryan wasn’t focusing on his near-death experience. Instead, he thought of how he found Shane wrapped around him… as if he was covering Ryan’s body with his own… as if he was protecting him from the crash…

 

He thought of the expression _“falling on a grenade”_ , which pertained to how soldiers threw themselves on grenades in order to contain the explosion and shrapnel, even if it meant they’d lose their lives. It was an act of sacrifice.

 

He bit his lip as he realized Shane had done something similar. He had thrown himself over Ryan, fully aware that the van was coming from the right side — fully aware that he would take the brunt of it.

 

“Hey, let’s go,” Shane said, reappearing and sliding back into his seat. “Turns out the driver didn’t notice the light was red — that’s why she kept going. But she was able to brake when she saw our car. It was a really close call.”

 

Shane buckled his seatbelt.

 

“I said I wouldn’t press charges or anything. We can go home,” he continued.

 

Shane must have noticed that Ryan didn’t want to talk, so he drove, not uttering another word.

 

After some minutes, Shane parked in the street near Ryan’s building. They sat there in silence.

 

“I can’t take this. Talk to me,” Shane sighed. “Are you okay?”

 

Ryan didn’t know how he managed to do it, but he ended up on Shane’s lap, straddling him and kissing the living daylights out of him. Ryan sighed at the familiar feel of Shane’s lips on his. He drank up the sweet taste of his mouth. He became aware that Shane was growing hard beneath him. Encouraged by it, Ryan grinded down _hard_.

 

“Ryan,” Shane moaned into his mouth. His hands roamed down Ryan’s back, slowly working their way down.

 

Without missing a beat, Ryan unbuckled Shane’s seatbelt, then located the car’s recline lever next to the seat. They went crashing down, as the seat reclined horizontally.

 

Shane broke off to breathe. Ryan took the opportunity to trail light kisses down the side of his neck. He used one hand to pull down the collar of Shane’s shirt. He bit down gently on the smooth skin and sucked on it, wanting to mark Shane — wanting to show everyone that Shane was his. Ryan’s other hand trailed down to the button of Shane’s pants. With alarming dexterity, he popped it open in one try.

 

“Ryan, we’re going to wreck the car seat,” Shane whispered. His fingers were tangled in Ryan’s hair.

 

“Not before I wreck you first,” Ryan growled.

 

Shane laughed. “Ryan, we need to stop.”

 

“Don’t tell me you don’t want this.”

 

He palmed Shane’s cock over his boxers. Shane hissed with pleasure and arched himself into Ryan.

 

“Baby, you’re driving me crazy,” Shane panted. “But we really need to stop.”

 

Ryan paused. Some semblance of his sanity came back.

 

“Oh gosh,” Ryan uttered. “What the hell am I doing?”

 

He stared down at Shane, who was looking up at him with an amused expression. He extracted his hand from inside Shane’s pants, and scrambled off of him, returning to his seat.

 

Shane laughed again. He pulled his seat back to its original angle and re-buttoned his pants. Ryan was sitting stiffly, completely embarrassed at having lost control like that. Shane was probably thinking what a sex-starved barbarian he was.

 

“You’re pretty good at this,” Shane complimented, as he checked the purple spot along his collarbone in the rearview mirror.

 

Ryan felt a rush of pride at having succeeded at marking Shane. It was quickly quelled by his shame.

 

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I lost control for a minute.”

 

Shane placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed. A wave of desire roared within him.

 

“Don’t apologize. I wanted you to,” Shane assured.

 

“Why’d you stop me, then?”

 

“Because I don’t think car sex is very romantic, do you?”

 

Ryan’s face flushed. “Not really.”

 

“And because I’m still not sure if you’ve recovered from the incident awhile ago. I can tell there’s something on your mind.”

 

“Well,” Ryan hesitated, “I was just wondering why you did what you did.”

 

“What do you mean?” Shane asked confusedly.

 

“You protected me,” he said simply. “Why?”

 

Shane smiled sheepishly. “I don’t have a good explanation. I just saw the car coming on your side, and I knew I had to protect you. It was like a natural reaction. Do you get it?”

 

Ryan pulled him in for a rough kiss. Shane indulged him with a bit of tongue before pushing him away.

 

“You need to stop jumping me,” Shane chuckled. “No car sex, remember?”

 

“Yeah,” Ryan mumbled, infuriated at himself for his lack of discipline.

 

“If I’d known that almost dying was the way to your heart, I would have done it sooner,” he joked.

 

“It’s also the way to my pants,” Ryan blurted out. He clapped a hand to his mouth as he realized what he said. “Sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

 

“Oho, Bergara. As much as I’d love to get down and dirty, I want to make sure that you’re all-in.”

 

“I am all-in,” Ryan said. He was sorely tempted by Shane’s offer.

 

“But a while ago, we were barely friends. I don’t want you to end up regretting this,” Shane explained, his considerate and sensitive side taking over.

 

Ryan knew he was right. He did want Shane badly, but he also wanted to get to know him more before taking it to the next level. Ryan started to feel like himself again — he had his emotions under control.

 

“You’re right,” Ryan conceded. “Okay, let’s start this slow.”

 

“That’s better,” Shane nodded. “Let’s start with a date. How’s tomorrow night sound?”

 

“Perfect,” Ryan smiled. “And what about you?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“So you’ll be Tolerable Shane 24/7? No more Insufferable Shane?”

 

Shane quirked his head at him. “How about I just be Shane? No more personas.”

 

“The real Shane?”

 

“The real me,” Shane said. “From now on, you’ll always have the real me.”

 

Ryan smiled down at his lap. “That’s all I ever wanted.”

 

_FIN._

**Author's Note:**

> https://personifiedwritersblock.tumblr.com/


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